Yeah, so here we go....

On Haloween night (last monday) I horribly drunkenly cheated on Joe. With no one to talk to and fear of writing about it I bottled it inside untill Friday. In the wee AM hours of Saturday me and Joe broke up. It's really a good thing. Because we're roomates and live togther and stuff we have to find a way to work things out, and all I can say is I have been happier with Joe the past few days than I have been in over a year! We have sorta moved on to a "best friends with benefits" sorta thing. I've had more sex since we broke up than we had the three weeks before. We are both going to try dating other people.

So yeah, I chated on someone for the first time in my life. I felt horrible for it, Joe has already forgiven me, he's still somewhat upset with me for breaking his heart since every time he looks at me it hurts is heart a little, but he is in the process of forgiving. I also found out that he cheated on me about two years ago and has kept it hidden all of this time. It dosen't hurt me so much now because I thought it had happened when it did and I had the month of anger in my head then. It just hurts now that he went on for two years claiming I was the only girlfriend he had that he never cheated on, which was not true.

We all assume he's going to have a girlfriend before me, but I'll probably get a date first, which is what I really want. I want to date people and have fun and go out and party and pretty much live the life a 21 year old girl should be living, not having a "long engagement" period like Joe asked me for.

I think I might get a date with the guy I cheated on Joe with. He's totally cool and I have been wanting to date him for almost three months. He knows the haloween thing was drunken stupidity, but I'd like to try a real date....

Anyway, that is what has happened to me recently, I know it's not a good story or well told, but I just need to get it off my chest allready. I've been hiding from dl for a week so I wouldn't have to say it but it's finally made the time to come out of me.

Oh yeah I got contacts, my best friend left to rehab, another good friend turned 21, and I have smiled and been happy for three days in a row and it feels like heaven. I forgot that I was allowed to be happy, I seriously forgot how to be that way. I can't wait for work tonight, it will be fun. But me and Joe have to tell all our co-workers that we broke up. Atleast he started on Saturday when he was all broken hearted.... yeah, so no real time for typos check so you get what you see.